Liars need not apply!
I may look like a fool for going out of my way and being kind to you; generously pouring out my attention, my time, and my feelings but none of these niceties are done because you or others deserve them.
I treat people with respect and try to honor their likes and stay away from their dislikes methodically to diplomatically set my relational boundaries.
These invisible parameters are there with much reason:
MEN, I don’t want your lame advances and offers of lust-I only fuck people I have gotten to know, genuinely like, and who I would trust to untie me if it ever went that far! (Also, I most value that you have a clean bill of health before we ever consider exchanging fluids!)
WOMEN, keep your advice to yourselves; if ever I engage in conversation with your sex it’s to talk with you not be talked down to. Anytime I do ask for advice, tips, or recipes, I appreciate the input but go slow because I have a severe attention deficit problem and can only focus on one thing like a guy. (Also, I most value that you have a clean bill of health before we ever consider exchanging fluids!)
Despite it’s rough edges, blunt honesty is welcomed; just forgive me in advance because I left my “nice” filter in a small, dark, wet gap so I have a problem with being brutally honest at the most inappropriate moments at all social functions and in most public spaces.
People, take time to make me laugh (I mean really laugh) if you want to impress me or keep me distracted. My children learned early on that it was the only way I’d pour out any of my loving attention on them (kidding!)
If you bother lying to me, don’t ever bother with me. I hate catching people in their lies and I imagine violence of all fancy sorts on you when you continue to feebly cover your ass with more lame stories or excuses.
That is all, thank you all for your time.